Sunday, October 23, 2005


Yep. You heard me right.

First of all, sorry for the long delay between posts. My server was down for awhile, and I've actually been in a writing challenge. We were supposed to finish a book in two weeks. Okay so I got to 180 pages. I was 100 pages short because I couldn't seem to turn off my internal editor with this story. Sigh. But hey, I got over two thirds of the book written!

What does that have to do with obedience? I'm getting to that.

I hadn't been very disciplined with my writing the past couple of months and I was beginning to feel that little nudge on my shoulder from God. He called me into a writing cave a couple of years ago. Told me to quit (gasp) volunteering at the crisis pregnancy center, quit committing to certain programs at the church, quit IM'ing my friends so much, quit playing Spider Solitaire instead of writing. He wanted me to get these books written. Okay, so when I drift from my mission, He has to steer me back. I get easily distracted so I'm glad He keeps me on a short leash. I need that. I need to stay the course. I sometimes gripe at God because I haven't heard Him speak anything profound to me lately. Oh I always know he loves me and all that. I'm talking about directional words.

He gave me direction all right. He said, "Why would I tell you the next thing to do when you haven't obeyed the last thing I told you to do? Go back in your cave and finish the books I told you to finish by year's end."

OOOOkay. So I hope He's explaining all this to my church friends who may think I've backslidden or worse, dropped off the face of the planet. The pulling away from serving is very hard for me because I have a problem caring what others think of me. Plus I love to serve. Nevermind that this is also the season in my husband and I's year where we're gone A LOT. But I just have to trust that one day they'll understand. My main gift and calling in the church is intercessory prayer. I can do that no matter where I'm at, and I do. I know there will be a season coming up when God will call me to volunteer more, serve more in the church. Be more involved in teh extarcurricular activities. Do something besides just show up. This is a hard issue for me because I love to serve. If I see a need, I want to meet it. If I see something that needs to be done, I do it now and ask questions later. So these past couple of years has been hard for me in that regard.

Obedience is never, ever easy.

But it's always, always worth it.


1 comment:

Camy Tang said...

I totally support you, Squirly, and I'm praying for you, too.

I'm also green like lime jello that you got flippin' 180 pages done!!! You SO suck. ;)